‘I don’t want to go to school’.

Sometimes your best negotiation tactics are developed in the strangest of places.

This morning I’ve been under a dinner table, speaking and coregulating with a kid going through a really rough time. No wonder he doesn’t want to go to school.

My approach to this was:
✅validation. It’s okay to not want to do something.
✅ sit alongside him. Literally. Under the table.
✅empathy. I feel like that too. I have to do stuff I don’t want to all the time as a grown up. It sucks.
✅pay attention to my own nervous system. Do as I do. I’ve got to make sure my own fight or flight response is setting an example.
✅bribery. Just a little bit. I let him borrow my fidget for the day.

Emotional regulation is such a key skill to learn as an adult, and a child. But one of the hardest things.

With the rise of anxiety and avoidance in schools, it’s never been more important.

I feel passionately about upskilling our childcare workers. I’m developing some training on managing behaviour, and I’m drawing on skills from mental health first aid, psychological safety and training as a therapist.