How being neurodivergent can make you the (burnt-out) hostess with the mostest.

Brains don’t change on birthdays.

(Unless those birthday cake wishes work super-fast)

I’ve always loved birthdays. It’s like Christmas but ABOUT ME.

There’s bright décor and games. There’s fizzy wine and chocolate cake.

Recently I’ve been learning a lot about my brain and how to make my life work around it.

There have been many ways that applying my inclusion expertise to ‘real life’ can make me the Chief Organiser and Hostess with the Mostest.

Caption: Photo of Lynn with wine and cake and the title ‘How being neurodivergent can make you the (burntout) hostess with the mostest’.

For example, if organising a social thing:

-   As I need to do relaxation and journaling before bed, everyone is given a social curfew in advance.

-   I am hyper-sensitive to comfort and energy levels of a gathering and ‘pitch’ activities to this,

-  I am a hall pass for everyone to meet their own needs. In advance, I let people know it is a safe space to wear, do, eat whatever you want.

-  My energy and enthusiasm for party games makes me excellent with little ones.

Amazing! Right?

One day, perhaps.

But I am still learning how to meet my own needs, while catering for the group. I think this is likely my social learning about ‘how to be a good woman’.

When catering to the needs of others, I can de-prioritise my own wellness. I am still learning how to take care of my precious social battery. I am still learning how to cope with the uncertainty of human-ness. How do you avoid burnout when being so ‘on for all’?

That question is not rhetorical. How do you take care of your own needs while meeting the needs of others? Especially after a pandemic? And especially if you are neurodivergent?

And top tip: seriously think about the pros of a neurodivergent event organiser. It is likely that they have spent a lifetime honing ‘fitting in’ to social spaces. This expertise can be put to great use.